Ladies and gentlemen, please allow me to introduce a guestblogger: my own, beloved Beth Cherry.

I feel like the fat lady in the Harry Potter painting hiding in another painting when hers was ripped. People keep emailing: Are you OKAY? So Dan offered to let me guest post.

I?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥m having a very bad, no good, horrible week. Here?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥s a quick summary:

Monday: I forgot my wallet at home and didn?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥t realize it until after I ordered my breakfast. Luckily Sammy and Mustafa let me promise to pay on Tuesday for the bagel I ate on Monday.

I took my phone to the ATT store. The conversation went like this.

?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ?My phone is broken.?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ? I said, handing it to the man behind the counter. He plays with it for a minute.

?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ?This phone is broken,?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ? he responds.

?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ?Yes. It?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥s broken,?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ? I said as he hands it back to me. I stand there for a few minutes until I realize that he is finished speaking with me.

?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ?Is there?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?Ǭ? anything we can do about it??¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ? I ask.

?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ?No. The phone is broken,?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ? he says, ?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ?You can call the warranty people.?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ?

I looked down at my broken phone and back up at him. Call them. Okay.

?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ?The number is on the website,?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ? he added.

?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ?Call them… okay… thanks,?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ? I said as I left.

So not only did my phone continue on in it?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥s broken state, but my email also went out. I buy my hosting in two-year increments. Apparently, this was up on Monday, and I was unplugged until I could pay again, which was hampered by my walletless state.

Tuesday: When I went to pay for my hosting, my credit card would not work. Now, this is a card attached to a checking account; so this is very odd and extremely frustrating behavior. I called the bank (on Dan?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥s phone), and they had shut my card down because there were really weird, very high back to back gas charges on my account made in Brooklyn. I haven?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥t been in Brooklyn since my last New York visit, and I no longer own a car ?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¨ so ROCK ON bank. I realized that I was that Asian lady who talks like a trucker in that commercial where her identity gets stolen. I, as Asian lady, give you the finger, anonymous trucker.

I used another card to get my site reinstated, but then the server that hosts my other site blew up and has been down since.

Then I decided to call the phone warranty people. I was transferred to five different people all of whom said, “I would like to tell you at this time that ATT values you as a customer blahblahblah” as if reading it from a placard on a wall. Show, don’t tell, baby. It was apparent by the last guy that ATT had outsourced their customer service to an alien lifeform on another planet. I told Dan that it was like talking to a Speak and Spell on drugs, and I can’t describe it any better than that. I gave up.

After the call I told Dan that I was angry enough to nuke a small country.

?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ?Which one??¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ? he asked.

?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ?I don?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥t know. What about Guam??¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ? I said.

?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ?Why Guam??¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ? he asked.

?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ?I don?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥t know! I just want to nuke a small country, and Guam sounds good, okay??¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ? I yelled.

?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ?Okay. Okay, we can nuke Guam.?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ? He placated and patted my head. He also promised to take care of phone business in the future when we get a new plan with a new company… mostly to preserve Madagascar and Japan.

Wednesday: I was a small numb ball of fried C-stressed panic. I also forgot my umbrella. I stayed up until 4am doing my homework for Thursday. Half a dozen people emailed me to ask if my phone was fixed yet.

Thursday: I drank a lot of coffee and built a car out of Lego Mindstorms. Bindu gave me blessed nuts – nuts blessed by some Hindu god or goddess. They were tasty. Ritwik has never had Dr Pepper or pumpernickel. We plan to change that. Ritwik asked if my phone was fixed yet.

The week improved as it went along, but next week begin midterms.