King Ping
What if King Kong was about a giant panda instead of a giant ape?
This would be a totally different world from the start for that to happen. Because, after all, King Kong is, to put it bluntly, a giant African man covered with hair and big teeth for biting white people.
But if that foxy blonde fell in love with a giant panda… (Awww)
And they brought that panda back to New York to show people how cute it was (Awwwww)
And it escaped from its cute little big house and climbed the Empire State Building (Awwwwwww)
They’d just leave it there, and NYC’s tourism revenue would go through the roof as people came from all over the world to see the cute giant panda that made a nest in Macy’s and climbs the Empire State Building. Awwwwwwww.
Also, Madonna’s Justify My Love would be much better if it was Falsify My Love.
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May 8th, 2006 at 6:12 am
There was an episode of Secret Squirel where he encountered ‘won ton panda.’ You have to say it in the way that tv comedians used to do to make fun of chinese people who were bad at english..or maybe you don’t…but if you don’t, you might miss the won ton = one ton gag.
Of course, seeing it would help you get that. Won-Ton Panda wasn’t quite Godzilla sized. He was more like The Blob(X-men blob, not horror blob).
It struck me rather clearly as being a metaphor for China. You got close to this idea yourself when you equated Kong with the old ‘black guys are after our white women’ meme. Then again…well lets just say I was ‘coming down’ from a 12 hour experience that includes a lot of associative thinking.
I’m not sure how your giant panda narative could be interpreted as a vision of US-Chinese relations. Oh wait actually I think you might be saying they will take over the world through economic dominance (as NYC is the financial capital of the world) and that ultimately it will just be cute…you godless communist, why am I not surprised.
I wish I could remember the idea that Secret Squirell came up with for handling the problem. Somewhere in that episode may be the wisdom that saves us all from the yellow peril.
For purposes of this post being archived and found in the future, by ‘yellow peril’ I mean ‘China is awesome. I love China! So obviously you don’t need to put me in some sort of organ harvesting death camp oh glorious imperial masters.’
May 9th, 2006 at 12:33 am
Andy…MacInnis?