I’m writing a Nancy Drew novel. It’s called The Shadow of the Mohawk on the Bathroom Wall.

Will the ever plucky Nancy be able to crack this thorny case?

(Three days until I’m together again with my girl; it’s important to entertain oneself when enduring such strong anticipation.)

Items of interest today:

Enoweb informs me that a bunch of Cornelius Cardew recordings are up at UBUWEB. One can listen to “The Great Learning”, which had a great influence on Eno, and is really pretty. Speaking of Brain One, he’ll be speaking at a MOMA event in October. I’ve already got tickets for Beth and me. Laurie Anderson and Michel Gondry will be speaking as well next month. I’ve got tickets for those too.

Tehn

Tehn, an audio/visual artist, will be playing Share in October. I like his music. Have a listen.

Nerd note:

I’ve been doing more CSS tinkering. Another alternate stylesheet is available. It’s nothing special — just a test.

Well, I work for a Dutch company so this Dutch lottery must be for real! I just ate a hundred dollar bill in celebration. We’re in the money! The next time you see me, I’ll be stepping out on the town in my white tie, top hat and tails. If a beggar crosses my path, I’ll vomit gold dust into his astonished hands. If some Johnny Reporter asks me “what gives,” I’ll snap my fingers under his nose and sing tra-la-la-loot. I AM RICH.

FROM: THE DESK OF THE MANAGING DIRECTOR. WORLD GLOBAL INTERNATIONAL LOTTERY Ref. Number: 132/756/4577 Batch Number: 638901527-BC67 ATTN: CEO Sir/Madam We are pleased to inform you of the result of the Lottery Winners Internationalprograms held on the 16th of August, 2004. Your e-mail address attached to ticket number; 278511465896-6452 with serial number3772-554, batch number B142/245874120KYT, lottery reference number 452632 and drew from lucky numbers 3-14-18-23-31-45, which consequently won in the 2nd category, you have therefore been approved for a lump sum pay out of US$1000,000.00 (ONE MILLION UNITED STATES DOLLARS) only, payable in cash credited to security credited file numbers; YHT/24586/2354/JPA in theNetherlands Payment Authority. CONGRATULATIONS!!! Due to the mix up of some numbers and email addresses, we ask that you keep your winning informations confidential until your claims has been processed and your money remitted to you in cash or into your provided bank account.. This is part of our security protocols to avoid unwarranted abuse of this program by some participants. Note that all participants were selected through a computer ballot system drawn from over 60,000 companies email addresses and 90,000 individual email addresses from all over the world online of which Ten where selected at ramdom as winners in different catigory. This promotion program takes place every decade and this lottery was promoted and sponsored by Association of software producers in all over the world and We hope with part of your winning, you will take part in our next decade international promotion lottery of Ten Million United State Dollars. To obtain your claim, please contact our Fiducial Agency; MR MIKE MOORE GOVERNMENT ACCREDITED LOTTERY CLAIM AGENCY). Email: mikemoore545@netscape.net Tell ; +31-620-877-647 Remember,all winnings must be claim not later than 8th of Sempterber. After this date all unclaim funds will be return to the promotion company. Please note in order to avoid unnecessary delays and complications, remember to always quote your reference and batch numbers in all your correspondence with our fudicial agency and the legal representative. Furthermore, should there be any change of address or informations about you , do inform our Fudicial agent and the legal representative as soon as possible to avoid disqualification of winning. Congratulations once again from all the members of our staff and thank you for being part of our promotion program and publications. Yours sincerely, MRS.LINDA MARK.(LOTTERY CO-ORDINATOR). WORLD GLOBAL INTERNATIONAL LOTTERY AMSTERDAM ,THE NETHERLANDS.

As anyone can tell you, there are certain intermediary stages that must be observed when drastically shortening the hair. Today at Limitone Hair Salon, they were. “Halt, Jose,” I said, as he began to buzz the roof of my head. “There are certain intermediary stages that must be observed.”

Ladies and gents, presenting the So-Sohawk.

See, a true Mohawk would have a thinner footprint and the rest of the scalp would be shaved bald. A Fauxhawk covers the roof and easily flops down for a workaday look. As you can see, there’s no cubefarm combover possible with this cut. Hence, so so.

I also had Jose graft an umbrella to the base of my skull. Sporty, eh?

Lately I’ve been watching more TV than usual, partly because it’s just too damned hot out. I’ll chill on the couch, doing clever Photoshop drudgery on old maps for a video project while I watch the Simpsons, the Daily Show and the soft sighing sound of mediocrity that is most spoof comedy and reality shows. I watch the latter because I know some of the people on the shows slightly and it’s interesting to see how they’re making inroads into televisual careers. I’m all for their success, even if the shows are ‘eh’.

News of the Great Learning

Lately the revelations have been coming once a day. Friday. Yesterday: I won’t punish my friends, my family or (this is the new part) myself because I don’t believe it does anything but distance and harm. Today: I may feel tired but I don’t have to act tired — and this is a visceral understanding. Too often we say, ‘this feels like it’s going to be a bady day’ and sure enough, it is: a self-fulfilled prophecy. Accepting my fatigue and living with it is the better way. Again: you create your own resistance.

(Also, I saw a dragon with many heads and it spoke with the voice of a child, saying “package up ye things that are like unto dust, for they get in the way and taketh up the space that should rightly belong to the favored gadgets of DAN.” Revelation, ha.)

Scrubba scrubba.

And I’ve been cleaning like a madman, drawing on a seemingly inexhaustible supply of elbow grease. Last night I scraped the goo-ified pigeon carcass off the window AC in the living room. Yes: disgusting. It wasn’t really my end of the stick but I did it anyway. It feels good to de-grime this apartment. The black mold in the accordion folds of the refrigerator seal has also fallen beneath my reciprocating, begloved fingers. Begloved they are because last weekend’s vigorous bathroom cleaning gave me a rash.* Yes: gross.

Mr. Fix-It

Besides all the vigorous cleaning, I’ve been making so many home improvements that I’m reduced to minute prowling of the Lumber Store shelves for more little projects. In the past few months, I’ve hung two shelves (and learned how to use various drywall anchors), raised my loft on cinder blocks singlehandedly, hung little paper lanterns, run extension cords in clever ways, installed a UPS I scavenged off the street, scraped all the rust from and spray-painted the medicine cabinet a glistening white (v. satisfying), replaced the toilet’s broken hose (an excellent opportunity to invest in a pair of vise grips), hung coat & belt hooks in my closet, hung broom and mop clips behind my door, on which I also installed a rigid doorstop. It is v. satisfying. It is a v. good use of my oft neurotic hands.

sexy code

I’ve spent a good amount of time bringing this site up to web standards of accessibility, usability and good, clean code. This probably means and matters nothing to most of you so stop reading now if you’re not a web/code geek: I command you. My CSS and XHTML now validate to w3c standards** and the page structure is much more logical and navigable for disabled users and older browsers, e.g., someone using a speaking browser, a handheld device, Netscape Navigator 4.0, or someone with CSS turned off. This page looks right in Mozilla, Firefox, IE6, IE5/Mac, Safari and even Opera 7. I changed my nav menus from a’s with breaks to unordered lists and learned a whole lot more about CSS selectors, inheritance and the cascade to make all the links style correctly. I’m learning how to use alternate stylesheets, too — as a test, I’ve got one alternate sheet that doesn’t display images (for those of you who might want to check in on me without distracting your coworkers with my girlfriend’s gorgeous design). Soon you’ll be able to resize the text (like here or here).

Choose your own adieu:

Now fuck off: I’m done with you.
By the way, come to Share this Sunday to watch me do my video thing. Or participate.

* The dermatologist says it’s just an allergic reaction. Phew!
** except for the opacity filter on the menus, which is proprietary code but too pretty to part with.

You create your own resistance.

You can feel it as you move. Or I can, at least.

The bottom of that barrel’s looking mighty thin. I wonder what happens when they break through? Perhaps pop will eat itself.

TV stained my memories. I don’t watch it much anymore.

So Mike and Kelly’s wedding was wonderful. It was the best of both worlds: great times with my girl and great times with my old friends, smushed together like a Venn diagram, neither circle taking umbrage at the size of the other. We* got a rash from wrestling in the Sunken Gardens (a chemical on the grass?), looked at the blue moon through the college’s telescope (gorgeous) and got really good and drunk at the Leafe (of course) — and that’s just the stuff I can write about. The ceremony in the Wren Chapel was really beautiful (and short — thank you, Mikey). Shannon and Dave sang the Lord’s Prayer in Latin. I was in the cheap seats so I couldn’t watch them sing; I watched Mike’s face instead. He looked happy. At the reception, Jennette and Alana did their best to shock the old people on the dance floor, despite the stale tunes of the customary horrible DJ. I ate at the Cheese Shop four times: once, dressed to kill in my new BR finery with my girl on my arm. I really didn’t care for the formal clothes I had so I’m glad I bought something snazzy for the wedding.

Beth and I had great fun driving around Williamsburg with me pointing out historical and personal landmarks for her. Looking back, I wish I had peppered my commentary with more of the curious moments in my academic career, such as the time I stood outside a frat party in a fierce downpour, fists raised to the sky, shouting.** We had a great breakfast at the Cracker Barrel, too. And she helped me find the perfect belt. 22 days until we pack the Budget truck and transplant my cherry tree.

Before I left for Virginia, I met up with Ross White and a host of other out of town friends at that bar under the Chelsea Hotel. As Ross said, the Del Close Marathon is like Improv Christmas, which I sadly had to miss. I’m glad I could leave a present under the tree.

• Which 5 7th Grade alumni and 1 current 7th Grader followed the traditional streak with a half-naked, freestyle grapple? Further this deponent sayeth not. ** Life lesson learned: girls don’t go for the weird guy at the party, no matter how great and obvious his disdain for the proceedings. Oh, college.

A great challenge for all artists lies in finding balance between self-censorship and creation. Brian Eno has put forward the notion (more than once, but here is once) that all of us have two personalities in our creative life: the Old Man and the Child. To wit:

“The child is full of delight and amazed by everything – he plays purposelessly, or apparently purposelessly. The old man, or critic, on the other hand, is a pretty sophisticated personality – he tends to say ‘So what’s new?’, and by doing this he often belittles or stifles the child’s activity.”

I am gaining new perspective on this dilemna from Choice Theory. What it comes to — I think, at this moment — is that I am unhappy with the colossal power of my internal censor. Therefore, today I resolve to change, to replace those dams, dykes, locks, sieves and spigots, with which my censor has for so long vainly tried to bottle the ocean, with better filters, well-placed.

I’m not unique: the ocean is inside us all. Tell me what works for you. How have you befriended your censor and made her your ally? How did you turn a peephole into a thoroughfare? Please comment.*

Today I recommend

• The Sex & Cash Theory from How to be Creative.
• Orbital, the seminal techno duo, performed their last show ever on Wednesday, June 28th, on the John Peel show on BBC Radio 1. It’s an hour and a half set and it’s excellent. Listen (requires Real Audio or Real Alternative). [mefi]
• a pretty animation in tribute to Brian Eno. [enoweb]

• Note to comment-registration-haters: I can’t turn off registration until the new version of MT-Blacklist is released at the end of the month: my webstats show that my comment system gets tons of hits from spambots — they’d flood my comments in a second.

I’m sitting in the newly renovated Swem Library and lemme tell ya: there is but one word fit to describe this shiny new house of books and that word is palatial. I flew into Newport News this morning, got totally gouged on a cab ride to Williamsburg and checked into the Ho House.* So far, I’ve seen a few of Mike’s friends that I knew a bit in college, had a sandwich from the Cheese Shop,** and stopped in to say hello to my voice teacher, Martha Connolly, who looks great and is doing well, despite the loss of her partner of twenty years in June. Martha’s as sweet and loving as ever, and though she couldn’t remember my name, she remembered the songs I sang — me, the guy who went from all musical comedy stuff (boring) freshman year to all classical and early music, e.g., Schumann, by senior year. What a doll.

I also stopped by the theater building. There was some sort of all-pre-teen Shakespeare production being rehearsed. I walked right by two professors, said hi, but they didn’t know me from Adam. Yep, giving that department the finger (metaphorically) and becoming a Literary & Cultural Studies major was definitely the right choice.

My girl should get in by 10 pm tonight and a bunch of us rehearsal dinner rejects will be enacting a rehearsal of our own at Chez Trinh tonight. Then I suppose we’ll head to the Leafe*** to swill a few with those rehearsal dinner snobs. Right now? I think I’ll find a bathroom in here no one’s used yet and mark my territory. Then I’ll go break into my freshman dorm and weep a bit, just to bring back old times.

• See how quickly one reverts to college slang? It’s the Williamsburg Hospitality House. ** It moved! The Cheese Shop moved to DoG Street (Duke of Gloucester Street). What once was a busy, cramped little purveyor of fine sandwiches is now a large, busy, cramped purveyor of fine sandwiches by the metric fuckload. *** More slang! Greenleafe Cafe: the only one of the three Delis (read: the only bars W & M students go to) that cards aggressively, thus making it an exclusive 21+ club. Excellent, ever-changing beer selection. **** In the most mundane way, I swear.